Tuesday Badassitude

I'm sure you've all seen these but I found some new ones I would like to share. I never get tired of these damn things.



* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

* When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



* Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.

* If you rearrange the letters in Mr. T, he'll fucking break you.

* The only reason Mr. T is not Dr. T is because his thesis, entitled "Fools and Those Who Pity Them", only had a photo of Mr. T with his arms crossed. After the faculty questioned this, they were found dead with their testicles in their eye sockets, even the women. His thesis is still yet to be marked.

* Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

* There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

And still my all time favorite:

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.