Will You Scratch My Nuts?

Tuesday Badassitude

I'm sure you've all seen these but I found some new ones I would like to share. I never get tired of these damn things.



* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

* When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.



* Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.

* If you rearrange the letters in Mr. T, he'll fucking break you.

* The only reason Mr. T is not Dr. T is because his thesis, entitled "Fools and Those Who Pity Them", only had a photo of Mr. T with his arms crossed. After the faculty questioned this, they were found dead with their testicles in their eye sockets, even the women. His thesis is still yet to be marked.

* Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

* There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

And still my all time favorite:

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Our Newest Edition

This is Maynard. He came to live with us today.



So far, he doesn't seem to get along too well with our dogs.











However, he does seem to like to sleep on my shoulder.










This ought to be fun.


UPDATE!!!!

OK. so we decided our new edition did not really seem like one who would be called Maynard. As much as Jenny wanted an orange tiger kitten named Maynard the name did not seem right. So we decided to look up some Irish names and see what felt right. The choices came down to Neill and Emmett. Jenny liked Neill (an Irish name after her favorite hockey player Chris Neill), I preferred Emmet (after the Irish Poet Robert Emmet). We decided to let fate decide. We put each name on separate pieces of paper and I folded them up and shuffled them between each hand. Jenny blindly chose which hand to go with. And so without further ado, may I introduce Mr. Emmet N. Wade.
(Yes, his middle name is Neill, compromise is the secret to a good marriage).

Tag

tag . . .

Here's how you play....once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with ten random facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose ten people to tag, listing their names and why you chose them; don't forget to leave a comment on their page letting them know "tag you're it". You cannot tag the original people/person back that tagged you first, but let them know when you have posted so they can read your blog.

1. I have a double headed toe on each foot. Only 10 toes all together but two on each foot share the same "trunk" for lack of a better word.

2. I once got a letter from Dr. Robert Ballard, the guy who found the Titanic. My mom has it somewhere in the pile of kids stuff.

3. I have never broken a bone (knock on wood)

4. I met the best man, maid of honor and pastor for the first time about 10 minutes before my wedding started.

5. I can't whistle.

6. My lifelong goal is to be able to play all the instruments of a three piece rock band by the time I retire.

7. I hate snow.

8. I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch.

9. I can barbecue the crap out of a pork shoulder.

10. I have an unhealthy view of how dead sexy I really am.


My tags

1. Jenny - cuz she's my wife and I like her boobs.

2. Chris - cuz he pretty much thinks like me

3. Rie - cuz she'll laugh when she reads my comment about Jenny's boobs.

4. Rachel - my sister

5. Paul - see # 4 except we're pretty sure he's a boy

6. Doug - because he typically has the most interesting random stuff about him

7. Angie - because she'll probably make fun of Jon somewhere in her post

8. Phil - because if he's still using the internet i'd like to hear from him and see whats up

9. Wayne - always has something insightful to say

10. Ezra - because he's the Beard.

Lots and Lots O' Music

So Rie opened for The Mines last night. Great fun was had by all. Dwight stayed up way to late and woke up with a nice headache. Totally worth it.


She kept hiding behind her microphone so this is the best picture I could get.


I love the way this one turned out. Total accident. I turned the flash off by mistake and it defaults to night-time exposure. Turned out pretty sweet I think.


Basically everyone had a great time, not that you could tell from any of these pictures.




I highly suggest going to Rie's blog as well for more pictures and commentary on the evening. And just for fun, here's an extremely amateur video of The Mines produced by your's truly.