Memo: Concerning Hot Pockets

To: The Oceanic 6
Date: 22 January, 2009
From: Oceanic Airlines
RE: Projectile Hot Pockets


In response to recent events we feel it necessary to make the following request: Please refrain from throwing Hot Pockets at Benjamin Linus. This is an inappropriate response in all but the most dire of circumstances.

We understand that Mr. Linus is indeed one creepy son of a bitch, prone to show up unannounced at decidedly inopportune times. However, as many of you are aware, once prepared in a common household microwave, Hot Pocket filling has the ability to main, scar and in some cases has been known to melt steel. When transformed into a projectile weapon, these moderately tasty pastry-like pouches produce a destructive power which would be considered overkill for even a weasel like Mr. Linus. Furthermore, should your aim be less than true, the scalding, greasy filling would produce a pepperoni and cheese filled mess to challenge the most skilled custodial technician.

Again, we understand the sometimes supernatural desire to inflict harm upon Mr. Linus; we just ask that you exhaust all other options before resorting to ballistic microwave sandwich pastries. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.