Play Ball!

So Dwight is sick of winter. Winter Sucks.

Have I mentioned yet that I'm about to punch winter in the throat?

So I decided it is time to concentrate on something more uplifting.

Its time for baseball baby!

Yes kids its almost time for opening day's opening pitch. This is always one of my favorite times of the year. The cold, dreariness of winter moves aside for crisp, cool days of spring. These days in turn usher in the rejuvenating smell of leather and glove conditioner along with the glee inducing crack of bat on ball. Dads across the country are spending quality time in the backyard having a catch with their sons And normally stoic men get teary eyed while watching Robert Redford round the bases.


Yet this year feels different. I've spent the last week or so trying to figure out why but it finally dawned on me:

No more Barry






No more Roger



It finally feels like we are putting the "Steroid Era" in our rear view mirror. Yes there will be the occasional story about Roger or Barry's legal wranglings; but for the most part these depressing steroid stories will focus on washed up ex players and they will eventually fade into the background.




Now we can concentrate on the important stories:

The Resurgence of the Tigers!

How will Joel Zumaya hurt himself this year?

Which crappy team will turn it around and energize a fanbase?

Personally I will be focusing on the transition from Smoltzie and Chipper to the Baby Braves in Atlanta. I'm actually kind of enjoying following a pretty good team with some serious holes. Yes 14 STRAIGHT division titles were wonderful but I feel more like a real fan when I have to suffer through the not-quite-so-good times.










So to celebrate the coming season I have decided to host a free Fantasy Baseball league on Yahoo. I'm formally inviting anyone who is interested in participating. If you read my blog you are welcome in my league. This will be strictly for bragging rights only and obsessive owners will be harshly ridiculed. I've done several of these over the years and I've found they are the most fun when contested among friends in a laid back setting.

So if you are interested, just head to Yahoo Sports. The league ID# is 151041 and the password is baseball.

Hope to see you there.

And remember. Catchers make better lovers!

I Don't Get It

Jenny thinks if we have a girl she will wind up like this.



I have no idea what she is talking about.

A Post For Paul and Doug

Because I don't think anyone else will understand.

The Best Part About Winter

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT!!!

If there is a more beautiful grouping of four words, I am not yet aware.

Metal By Numbers. Cookie Cookie Cookie!

OK, time for a video drop.







Today's title is brought to you by the amazing Brian Posehn who nails my feelings on today's "Metal" music.

Superbowl XLII - The Ads

This Blog is brought to you in THX sound.



OK, so everyone is talking about the big upset today. I'm not gonna pile on too.

I will share my thoughts on the Superbowl Ads though. We have fallen a long way as a marketing driven society from the days of the Bud Light Frogs and Terry Tate Office Linebacker, but last night had some worthy additions.

My Top 5

#5 Jutin Timberlake Pepsi Ad

Decently funny with some just quirky enough cameos.




# 4 - Doritos Mousetrap

Unexpected ending. Hilariously low special effects/costume budget.



# 3 - Bridgestone Tires Screaming Animals

Funny enough at first, reaches a new level with the green bug (listen closely)



# 2 - Soundproof Corolla

Ill timed cell phone calls + ornery badgers = comedy goldmine



#1 - Coca Cola Parade

Chuck finally gets the win after all these years (yes i got a little misty eyed)



These rankings are, as always up for debate (except for #1, I will not argue this)

So, how about some awards for the also-rans.

The If Only It Really Was This Easy award goes to Coca Cola with The Carville and Frist Jinx



The Borderline Enjoyable Commercial Utterly Devastated by a Lame, 10 Year old SNL Reference goes to Pepsi with Baby Don't Hurt Me



The I Will Stab You If You Cause Me To Miss This Movie award goes to Wanted.



Seriously, if you don't know about this movie do a little research. This one is gonna do a little ass kicking I do believe.

And finally, The Can We Please Stop With The Talking Head Hyperbole and Unwarranted Hype and Let Them Play the Games award goes to - Plaxico Burress and the NY Giants.



OK so I piled on a little bit. I don't care.

Till next time!

God Punches Really Hard.

I was watching 3:10 to Yuma tonight (great movie by the way, please watch it) and I caught something during one of the DVD extras.

Christian Bale was talking about the fascination we have in America, in the "first" world, with the western. We love to watch the movies because they remind us of a time when we were entirely self sufficient and had no one to rely one but ourselves.

This was the first time I'd ever heard anyone refer to the western world as "The First World".

I realized that Batman had once again taught me something about my life.

Everyone talks about the "Third World". But when have you ever heard anyone refer to our society as the "First World".

Yeah, exactly, we're "1st"! No I don't mean first as in best, I mean first as in the top of some superficial list about what is "best". Do we even have any idea how freakin easy we have it?

It's easy to feel pity for those who are "less fortunate" than us, but do we ever really consider how "fortunate" we are? I mean come on!!! I'm writing this in while sitting in a huge, comfortable chair that my in-laws gave me for free, watching a $24 DVD on a 27" TV while weighing about 150 lbs more than my "ideal" weight. At the same time there are people in my own town who sleep in rat infested homes and wish they had enough food to get them to their "ideal" weight.

I go to church in a mini-mall where the pastor used to sing in a pop-rock band and is free to preach whatever he is led to. At the same time there are countless other Christians in many other countries who can't even proclaim the name of their Savior without fear of retribution and death.

I am free to gorge myself on a bountiful harvest of M&M's and Kraft macaroni and cheese while millions of fathers, mothers and children hope and pray for the next installment of rice.

Yes it's easy to see how others have it rough. But how often do we also really see how freakin great we have it? Maybe we should take that into account when we evaluate the true status of our lives. Maybe we should spend less time dwelling on the acquisition and retention of today's "important" things (stuff, stuff and more stuff) and concentrate on the things that really matter to everyone:

God
Family
Friends

Sorry for the rant but thankfully God decided to punch me in the face at a really odd time.

Dynamite vs. the Whale

So engineers came up with this idea?

Hey Doug, if you ever get to blow up a whale you'd better freakin' call me.

Beautiful!

He has not idea that he's being completely ridiculed. Oh Maverick how your star has fallen.

Did You Know It's Cold in Michigan?

So today we helped out the wonderful and talented Marie Dornan with her treasure hunt for the Dicocco Family before they leave for a mission to South Africa.

We were stationed at Calder Plaza where participants had to find us, have their picture taken and obtain a clue.

It was 10 degrees.


Now before we left I thought to myself....Self, no one in their right mind goes out in 10 degree weather so it should be easy to locate the treasure hunters as they arrived at the plaza.

I was wrong. There were 21 teams. 19 actually found us and there were at least as many if not more groups that were out and about in downtown G.R. just walking around.

Once we asked a couple of girls who strolled up to La Grande Vitesse if they were part of the treasure hunt. They looked at us like we may cut them up and cook them for dinner, then quickly exited the plaza.

Amazingly we stayed warm for the vast majority or our 3 hours outside. Plus I got this kick ass picture. Definitely a good day!

How've You Been

So life is starting to resume a normal pace. The holidays have come and gone, the weather patterns have begun to ease the stress at work and I'm starting to feel like myself again. Thankfully I've had Jenny around to keep me (in)sane.

I figured it was time to actually do some writing here on the ole interwebnet but since I really don't have anything profound to say I'll just start typing and we can discuss whatever comes to mind.


- Saw Sweeney Todd last month. I have to say it may get added to the top of my musical list. Sondheim is a bit much to take in if you don't know what's going on ahead of time. Luckily I knew the story before we saw the movie but Jenny didn't know as much and had a harder time with it. We both agreed the music was wonderful though. Definitely one to see on stage at some point. I highly recommend it for any of you who like musicals, dark comedies and/or the Depp/Burton movie combination.

- Finished The Bourne Identity for about the 7th or 8th time. I've now read it twice since seeing the movie. When I saw the movie for the first time I thought it was pretty decent but each subsequent time I've read the novel I've realized more and more how they butchered the story. I'm to the point where I can barely watch the first movie, can't watch the second at all and still haven't seen the third. Jason Bourne (David Webb) is, as far as my opinion counts, one of the top two or three spy characters ever and I just can't bring myself to accept the film version any longer.


- Since we're talking about things I've experienced lately I'll mention some music. I just came across the new Dashboard Confessionals album "The Shade of Poison Trees". I'm still in the initial stages of a good listen but I'm quite pleased so far. I also came across an album by New Found Glory. They have a couple of albums "From The Screen to Your Stereo" Parts I and II that are covers of popular movie songs done in their style of what i guess I'll refer to as "New Punk". Its pretty decent but the kickers for me were the crappy punk versions of "The Never Ending Story", "The Glory of Love" (love song from Karate Kid II) and "The Goonies are Good Enough". (For those who don't know, The Goonies was a movie from the 80's that almost everyone between the ages of 25 and 35 has seen multiple times and can quote extensively, you know, just in case you got lost on that reference :)


- Speaking of The Karate Kid, my wonderful wife got me the original on special edition DVD for Christmas. You haven't lived until you've seen Zabka and Machio rehearsing the beach fight while shirtless and sweaty on the "Making Of" featurette.

So I guess that gets us up to date for now. Jenny and I are looking forward to a productive and exciting 2008. Hopefully everyone reading this will be a part of it. If we are lucky I'll have lots of blog fodder to relate as we stumble our way from one pratfall filled day to the next.

And since its been a while since I've done this:





How about some inappropriate Gladiator Beefcake in honor of Hulk Hogan's return to gainful employment.

Flight of the Concords = Awesome Nerd Humour

OK, I'm sorry for all of the videos, I promise I'll actually write something soon, but I came across these tonight and just had to share them.

Apologies

OK so apparently the evil NFL has pulled the video I posted earlier. I'm really sorry about that, it was an unbelievably cheesy early 80's hippy fest with a band called "Up With People". Sorry you missed it.

So to make amends here is a double video dose for you.

Jim Carrey as David Caruso - Priceless



And Normisms from the greatest sitcom ever (at least unti The Office gets a few more seasons under its belt, and if you mention Seinfeld I will gut you)

The Horror....The Horror

You know there are a ton of things in today's world that make me long for better times.

But I never, ever, EVER!!!! want to live in a world where this is the Superbowl halftime show.

Meaningless Randomicity

So I'm watching Two and a Half Men this morning and a thought crossed my mind: What is the deal with Charlie Sheen. Has he really milked an entire career off his dad? Cause he sure as heck can't act. I mean its painful to watch. But at least he gave us the Charlie Sheen Face, you know the one where he tries to look all serious, purses his lips and looks like he's about to pass a glass covered brick through his colon.

So in honor of Mr. Sheen here's some more random crap from the depths of my brain.


- I'm totally voting for Mike Huckabee based solely on his likely choice for Secretary of Defense.


- OK, why did Sato's crazy nephew get all dressed up to attack Daniel San during the village party at the end of Karate Kid II? I always pick out my Sunday best any time I set off to beat the crap out of annoying dorks in front of the rich uncle who just shunned me.



- I know it would have pretty much ended the movie a little early but do you really think the Star Destroyer would really have let the escape pod go just because there were no life signs? They were looking for secret plans! I mean no one would hide plans in a Droid and eject them in an escape pod, that would be crazy. I'm sure Grand Moff Tarkin was pleased that they saved the handful of credits it would have cost for one short little laser blast.

- I demand that you watch this clip. Just more proof that we really don't need bands like Kansas to actually tour anymore.

- I'm definitely excited about the new season of Lost, but isn't there some way that Kate can run Jack over with a car during one of their mainland "flash forwards" so I don't have to keep listening to him whine and bitch?

So I guess that's it from me for the day. Now that the holidays are over and life is starting to calm down again I will hopefully get back to some meaningful posts. Here's to a great week!

Slainte!

And Now, A Real Video

The Mines with: "Valley"

Kung Fu Christmas 2007

It was promised, now it has been delivered.

Merry Christmas, Shitter's Full!

You know, when people ask me what I got for Christmas in 2007, I'll show them these pictures and tell them I got a great family. Oh, and a stick blender!










We here at the Wade household hope you are as blessed as we are with good friends and family. Regardless of what the commercials say, they are the most important thing about this holiday. Merry Christmas to everyone!

P.S. - Since I had a lot of free time today I put together what will likely be the first of several Holiday sideshows. Check back later for Kung Fu Christmas 2007 and possibly others.

I Heart Andy Samberg

SNL - People Getting Punched Just Before Eating (Andy Samber

First Aired : Oct 13th 2007


OK, I know this is old but I still think its hilarious. Plus, Samberg reminds me of old school Newmyer

Why I Love College Sports

I don't expect most of you that read this blog to sit through this entire 8 minute video. It's mostly there so my brother and I can easily access the video. But I came across this youtube video of the UGA v Auburn game, "The Blackout" and it reminded me of why college football is easily my favorite sport. It has even surpassed baseball. College sports are the highest level of major sports that are rely heavily on the emotion of the players and fans. Where else can you get such an emotional lift from something as simple as a black jersey. Yet this simple gesture by the coaches and the reciprocation by the majority of the fanbase at Sanford stadium helped propel the Dawgs to a complete destruction of a very good Auburn defense. I remember something very similar about the gold uniforms and black socks from the Fab Five at Michigan in the early 90's. There seems to be an attitude that is fun to watch associated with all the emotion. You don't get that emotion in the pros. Things don't mean quite as much when you are making $15 million a year.

Anyway, this video seemed to capture how I felt through the entire game vs Auburn. I was jacked up the minute I saw the black jerseys and the blacked out stadium and I stayed jacked up through the entire game. So, for most of you I'll see you at my next post. Paulie, I'll probably have this permanently embedded on my page before too long.