Grand Rapids has a Skyline!

Dwight Has Unmoved

2010-07-09T16:46:00.003-04:00

After a year of paying Apple to host my blog, I am back to the realm of free posting. Cash wasted, lesson learned.

My return to the blogspot comes on the heels of our return from vacation. We left the computers at home and spent the week on Mackinac Island and in Traverse City. I have to say I didn't miss the constant connection to the world. I was able to relax and enjoy my family.

Jenny (and obviously Elisabeth) had never been to Mackinac Island and I had not been there since I was around 12. I was shocked at how much fun I had. Of course, spending the week with my beautiful wife and daughter would make anything worth while but I thoroughly enjoyed the faux, touristy history of the island. We hit all the required spots, lots of shops, good food, a horse drawn carriage ride and a bike tour (cut short by Elisabeth's extreme dislike for the helmet).

So it's good to be back (on both counts). Look for more updates in the weeks to come as my life slows down a bit. It's been a busy spring and early summer and I'm looking forward to slowing down for a while.

Dwight Has Moved

2009-04-30T21:40:00.002-04:00

The blog has moved to our new family website.

Visit us at www.dutchgirl-irishguy.com

2 Things - Just for You

2009-04-24T21:11:00.002-04:00

# 1 - I think this is my favorite commercial of the year so far.

# 2 - I was looking through some old blog posts and I realized that something has been missing lately.

So, without further ado:

Here's some more inappropriate Top Gun beefcake. You're welcome.

Dwight Got a New Toy

2009-04-17T18:48:00.005-04:00

So our camera broke last week. You can't have a baby without a camera, right? Right. So Dwight bought a new camera. We put it to good use tonight when we went for a walk after dinner. These, my friends, are the first flowers of the year! Hooray for Spring.

While we were walking, a couple of kids walked by with their dad and one of them asked "Is she pregnant or what?!?"

Thankfully Jenny has a good sense of humor. She sure is cute though aint she?

But we got to have a nice walk on a gorgeous day. Here's a few pics we took along the way.

2009-03-15T20:37:00.000-04:00

I Heart Jon Stewart

2009-03-12T18:27:00.000-04:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Economic Crisis

Back To The 'Ville!

2009-03-11T19:37:00.005-04:00

Well, it's official. Jenny and I bought a place in our old stompin' grounds. We are heading back to the land of Phil's Pizza, Bradford White water heaters and mediocre sports teams saddled with unrealistic expectations by townfolk wishing to relive past glory. Plus, it's a "Cool City Neighborhood" so it's got that goin' for it.

So here's a couple of pics of our new place. It's a moderate sized mobile home, nothing special but it's ours. Big thanks to Mr. V for helping us out in a tight spot.

There will of course be an open invitation for any who would like to stop by and visit. We look forward to hosting all our friends!

Awesomeness This Awesome Deserves An Awesome Reward for It's Awesomeness

2009-03-06T20:59:00.001-05:00

Words Uttered by my Wife

2009-02-21T17:50:00.003-05:00

"Ugh! I can't look at that picture too much, it will give me nightmares. She Looks like Pumpkinhead."

Poor kid is F-in screwed.

P.S. - We've put up a baby name poll at the right should you be interested in putting in your two cents.

Memo: Concerning Hot Pockets

2009-01-22T20:59:00.004-05:00

To: The Oceanic 6
Date: 22 January, 2009
From: Oceanic Airlines
RE: Projectile Hot Pockets

In response to recent events we feel it necessary to make the following request: Please refrain from throwing Hot Pockets at Benjamin Linus. This is an inappropriate response in all but the most dire of circumstances.

We understand that Mr. Linus is indeed one creepy son of a bitch, prone to show up unannounced at decidedly inopportune times. However, as many of you are aware, once prepared in a common household microwave, Hot Pocket filling has the ability to main, scar and in some cases has been known to melt steel. When transformed into a projectile weapon, these moderately tasty pastry-like pouches produce a destructive power which would be considered overkill for even a weasel like Mr. Linus. Furthermore, should your aim be less than true, the scalding, greasy filling would produce a pepperoni and cheese filled mess to challenge the most skilled custodial technician.

Again, we understand the sometimes supernatural desire to inflict harm upon Mr. Linus; we just ask that you exhaust all other options before resorting to ballistic microwave sandwich pastries. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

A Thought Ponderable

2009-01-18T20:53:00.008-05:00

So, at 31, I find I am finally enjoying school. All those years of going through the motions and I finally have a passion to absorb what the good folks at Cornerstone decide to place in front of me.

Well, this week they have chosen to place in front of me a book that has jarred me awake. The class is "Christian Foundations in Business" and the book is "Your Work Matters to God" by Doug Sherman and William Hendricks.

I've just finished the first chapter and it posited a question that made me sit up an take immediate notice:

If we spend most of our time (40%-75% by some studies) at work, why doesn't the church ever spend any time talking about it?

Sherman and Hendricks polled over 2000 church members and found that over 90% polled had never, repeat NEVER, heard a sermon or been a part of other church related learning involving biblical principles and everyday work issues.

It seems, to some extent, like we've turned "Christianity" into some grand mission, to be completed "out there". Sermons are geared towards how we need to get out, do more, about how we can use our time to spread God's Love. Granted, these are important aspects of what God calls us to do, but if we only focus on the big stuff, we miss the enormity of the everyday.

Most of our lives will be spent doing our jobs and most of us will have jobs that have little or nothing to do with the church. Does this mean that what we do means nothing to God? Of course not, but this area where a large chunk of our lives unfold is looked at almost as an afterthought.

The more I read the more I felt a light being shined on my struggles in my relationship with God. I'll admit I have not been very committed to my walk lately. I've felt just flat out complacent and unmotivated. Now I think I have an idea why: I've compartmentalized my faith into something to be practiced outside of the things I do everyday. God wants us to focus on Him in EVERYTHING we do. I reflect Him in all that I do; the difficult calls to deny a customer's claim, the accuracy with which I write my estimates, even the way I handle other commuters on the way to work.

So here's hoping I can focus God's work through me while inside that little cubicle this week. I don't need to find some grand calling to follow Him. He puts opportunities in front of me every day.

It was only one chapter, about 15 pages but they jumped out at me like a spiritual pop up book. I've got a few hundred more pages to get through over the next few weeks but these first few pages really got inside me and I wanted to get my thoughts out. Thanks for listening.

I'm sorry.

2009-01-17T09:57:00.003-05:00

OK, so its been two months since I've stopped by. It seems the combination of hurricanes, homework, holidays and baby planning (I couldn't find a phrase that started with "H") have adversely affected my resolve to blog regularly.

Things are good here at casa de Wade. Jenny's tummy keeps on growing. It's freaking amazing that there is a little person growing inside my wife. Apparently our little girl has already started her kung-fu training in the womb and she likes to kick Jenny's bladder for fun.

Not much else going on right now, just lots of homework. I'll try to be a little better about throwing some thoughts out here in case anyone cares to take a look.

In the mean time, here's a tasty video to tide you over.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Family Matters

2008-11-17T18:18:00.004-05:00

So we just got back from Georgia. We surprised my grandfather on Saturday for his 80th birthday. It was the first time since Jenny and I got married that the entire family was together. We got to eat a lot of great food, including all of the fast food hotspots (Chick-Fil-A, Krystal, Waffle House, and Varsity hot dogs).

The best part of the weekend though was the video I put together for the birthday party. Nana and Granddaddy really loved it, they even had a little cry that was really sweet. I thought I'd share it with everyone. Plus, for those who haven't heard yet, you can partake in the surprise we gave to the family.

Gators Wear Jean Shorts!

2008-11-01T09:39:00.001-04:00

Go Dawgs!!!!

Hurricane Ike Strikes Again!

2008-09-27T19:22:00.002-04:00

So how's everyone this week? Hopefully doing well.

Things have been crazy busy for me lately. This hurricane season is probably the busiest for us in the 9 years I've been at my current job, plus I've thrown school in on top of it. I had the pleasure of writing a paper on the Federal Reserve this week. Joy! But I wanted to drop a line out and say hello, you know, since our government is about to incur another $700 billion in debt which of course will actually wind up being more like $2 trillion by the time they actually get it completed. I fully expect to see Mad Max patrolling the highways by this time next year, keeping the few of us who are left safe from marauders on the prowl for the last barrels of gasoline. Not that I'm skeptical, I just don't trust politicians to do anything remotely sensible.

So anyway, to offset the doom and gloom of the previous paragraph, I give you a song by the always great Flight of the Concords. I'm sure Jenny will tell you that I am totally this guy.

Saying Goodbye

2008-09-19T19:13:00.004-04:00

I've been waiting to post this until I got my laptop back so I could post the picture with it.

As some of you know we had to say goodbye to Dexter on Sunday. That was by far the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. We only had him for about a month but he fit right in to our little family. I have always said that dogs were an Earthbound illustration of God's unconditional love for us and this little guy proved my point even more. He came from a crappy family situation where he was locked up in a cage all the time but he was just about the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, he chewed up the couch, yeah he woke us up in the middle of the night, yeah he drove Emmet bonkers but we all loved him and he loved us right back.

Damn, I'm getting a bit choked up writing this but I guess I'm just a sucker for a good dog.

I'll miss you buddy.

Funny, Inappropriate Video of the Week

2008-09-09T22:39:00.000-04:00

The Second Coming of Herschel

2008-09-07T09:07:00.003-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your 2008 Heisman Trophy Winner.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T14:43:00.002-04:00

2:42 pm - Well that didn't last long. At least this means OSU is still on track to get destroyed by 30+ points in the National Championship game again.

So it seems like the sale is winding down. This will be my last post for the day. We're heading out for dinner and a double feature at the drive in theater.

So long.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T14:09:00.002-04:00

2:08 pm - Ohio 14 Ohio State 6 4:42 left in the 3rd Quarter.

This warrants further attention.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T13:02:00.002-04:00

1:01 pm - Wow, people sure love junk. It amazes me what other people find valuable. We just sold a 30 year old vacuum cleaner for $5. It's one of those really heavy, really old vacuums that comes in a big chest to store all the parts. A couple of college girls bought it and you would have thought it was the greatest thing they ever saw. Just this morning Jenny was ranting about what a piece of crap it was and here are two people that thought it was awesome. (Rie, it was just like when you and Jenny found the dinosaur).

I don't get people. But I'll take their money.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T12:13:00.002-04:00

12:12 pm - We're on fire now. Apparently everyone decided that noon is the best time to buy other people's junk.

The best part so far, we have 3 large buckets of toys that we're selling for $1 per bag. Kids are stuffing grocery bags to the brim and getting completely worked up about the smorgasbord of toys. Lots of smiles around here!

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T11:07:00.002-04:00

1 hour down. We've made $1.

I just wet myself.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T10:13:00.002-04:00

10:30 am - Jenny keeps making fun of my setup out here in the garage. I've got my laptop for entertainment (I'm expecting a lot of sitting around and plenty of nothing-doing), I've got a notebook for keeping track of sales, a calculator because I suck at math and my coffee. I don't see what's so funny about this but Jenny thinks it's hilarious. I figured I would leave it to my readers (both of you) to decide exactly how humorous this is. Comment away.

Dwight's Birthday - A Running Diary

2008-09-06T09:52:00.002-04:00

10:05 am - So I'm 31. How am I celebrating you ask? By sitting in my garage and selling stuff to people.

That's right, a garage sale! How do you celebrate your birthdays? I'll make a few posts to keep you all updated on the monotony.

Howdy!

2008-08-31T21:45:00.002-04:00

Hello everyone. Just wanted to check in. Things have been busy and they don't seem to be calming down anytime soon.

Jenny and I have been enjoying a restful weekend, had a few nice dinners out and we're getting ready for a garage sale next weekend. It's the first weekend in a while we haven't had something planned.

So I started school a couple of weeks ago. I'm exited to finally get this damn degree finished. Just 18 more months to go? Keep my sanity in your prayers!

On the subject of prayer requests, please keep the prayers going this week for everyone involved with Hurricane Gutav. It's obviously going to affect a lot of people in the gulf coast still cleaning up from Katrina but it also affects us lucky few in the insurance industry. There will be many hours of overtime in the coming month or two and when combined with my classes I forsee some tired evenings and long weekends in my future.

Thankfully it seems like people got the message two years ago and are getting out of Louisiana. Hopefully we can do a better job of taking care of everyone this time.

Well, that's it for now. I'll check in when I can. Till next time.

Ike.

Join The Dwight Army of Champions

2008-08-24T11:40:00.000-04:00

Thanks Skip

2008-08-11T22:13:00.005-04:00

My little brother already took care of the memorial info for Mr. Caray on the day of his passing so i figured I would wait until the day of his memorial to pay my tribute.

Baseball lost treasure last week. The son of legendary announcer Harry Caray,
Skip was mostly unrecognized across the country. He started calling Braves games the year before I was born. His voice was heard by millions across the country on TBS but few outside Atlanta really appreciated it. I firmly believe Skip Caray was one of the most undervalued announcers in the game. Yes I am biased but I still believe that Mr. Caray was the best announcer that never got any attention. The only time I ever heard anyone ever say anything about him outside Atlanta it was to make fun of his style. Yet he was the voice of 14 years of Braves excellence and he is THE voice of baseball for me.

I grew up during the worst years of the Braves existence. Bob Horner, Pasqaul "I-285" Perez (ask me about that nickname and I'll tell you a great story), worst record in baseball, these were just some of the things we lived through back then.

Then in 1991 it all changed. Glavine, Smoltzie, Ronnie Gant and the gang started winning. They lost what may well have been one of the best World Series ever, but they rejuvenated a fan base. Skip was there to give me the play by play on my radio. Then dad cable and I got to enjoy his sarcastic whit along with all the games I could handle.

The Dodgers have Vern Scully, the Tigers have Ernie Harwell. I'll take Skip Caray every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I grew up with "Braves Win, Braves Win!" Who could ask for more?

Thanks Skip. I don't know if baseball will ever be the same. At least not for me.

Why Dwight Loves the Olympics

2008-08-10T23:34:00.003-04:00

“The Americans? We’re going to smash them. That’s what we came here for.” - Alain Bernard; anchor leg for the French 4x100 relay

Results of the Mens 4x100 Relay:

1. United States 3:08.24 (WR)

2. France 3:08.32

Previous World Record 3:12.46

This is probably bad of me but I freakin love it when we beat the French.

12 more days. Bring it on!

Why Dwight Is Ready For Fall

2008-08-01T21:54:00.005-04:00

USA Today Coaches Poll
RANK TEAM
1. Georgia (22)
2. USC (14)
3. Ohio State (14)
4. Oklahoma (3)
5. Florida (5)

And I have to say, given my current living arrangements in the state of Michigan and the pre-season positioning of my favorite team; this was my favorite headline of the day.

"Ohio State Buckeyes In Position To Lose Third Straight BCS Title Game"

Let the Games Begin

Worthless Wonderings

2008-07-28T19:04:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me. Either that or my job has done permanent damage to my heart. Not the one that pumps blood but the one that has feelings.

I love my job but I have to be able to separate my compassion for others from my duty to do my job. If you let the horrible stories I hear everyday get to you then eventually you won't be able to do the job. Now, I love my job, but the reason I have been able to do it for so long is my ability to be detached while I'm at work.

I just hope its not bleeding into my regular life. Now I know I come by the cold, calculating thought process naturally (you'll understand if you know my dad), but sometimes I feel a little "off", when I'm able to move past bad experiences quickly.

Like today, our new dog had a bunch of seizures and it looks like he has epilepsy. Jenny is of course distraught by the whole thing. I on the other hand observed the situation, made the decisions about what we needed to do and felt terrible about it for a while, but now I've moved on because I know there is nothing more I can do. I know it is a logical step to take but sometimes I really wish I "felt" more. Sometimes I wonder if all those feelings are just bunching up for a massive sneak attack at some inconvenient time in the future.

OK, I guess that's enough for today. Just had some thoughts running through the ole noggin and thought I'd put them down for your perusal.

Happy Dark Knight Day

2008-07-18T19:50:00.000-04:00

Dark Knight PSA: UV Protectionfunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Please, Please, Please, Please Click This Link

2008-07-16T18:52:00.004-04:00

And a big thanks to Mr. Chris for the heads up.

Beware the Evil Eye

2008-07-08T19:08:00.003-04:00

Has anyone else noticed that Marie shows up in a lot of pictures with the same shady look?

I'm starting to think she may be up to something. I'll have to keep my eye on her.

So we spent Saturday (day 2 of my 4 day weekend) with the magnificent Dornans at the Battle Creek Air Show. We both packed coolers so we would have sufficient snackage with which to battle the onslaught of tasty, fatty airshow food. Of course, once the smell of roasted animal flesh wafted across our party of four our willpower was pretty much destroyed. I wound up going with the monster pulled pork sandwich as my lunchables no longer cut it.

The airshow was excellent as always. The Thunderbirds put on one of the better demonstration shows I have seen. I know they are all just about the same but something just felt extra awesome this time.

Of course Jenny hid from the cameras all day. However, there is a video out there of her playing Air Controller Hero (Jenny plays Guitar Hero with the regular Xbox controller). Hopefully it turns up soon.One of our highlights of the day was the above T-shirt. Yes, those are pigs in various states of reproduction. The signifcance to us is that we bought Jenny's mom a salt and pepper shaker set that can be rearranged into many of the above snapshots. For some reason, every time we go to the in-laws each pig is stationed on opposite sides of the stove. Jenny usually rectifies that extremely non-childish situation quite quickly.

All in all it was a pretty good holiday weekend. We got to spend time with good friends, Jenny became the first person to yak in Chris' vehicle (It shall now be known amongst us as The Vomit Comet), we saw the new Will Smith flic (much better than the critics are willing to admit), ate some good food and advanced a level or two at the old Guitar Hero.

Unfortunately Jenny was also sick for most of the weekend. It sucked for her but I got to do one of my favorite things which is to take care of my baby.

I had plenty of help though.

Showbiz Pizza! Yeah!

2008-07-04T23:25:00.000-04:00

UGA VI

2008-06-28T22:07:00.005-04:00

1999-2008

This Post Could Get Me Killed

2008-06-23T20:28:00.003-04:00

I don't feel like watching TV tonight so I decided to write something. I didn't have anything on my mind so I decided to let Itunes decide my blog topic.

I hit shuffle.

I hit play.

The song that came on?

Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.

Now the aforementioned women may indeed make the Rockin World go round but there is nothing but grief in such a blog for me.

So, lets try another song.

The winner is?

Mississippi Queen by Mountain.

What the heck is going on here?

Ok, last try.

No Woman No Cry - The Fugees

OK thats better. I have two versions of this song (Fugees and Bob Marley). It easily ranks in my top 10 all time. I always think of my honeymoon when I hear this song. We went to Jamaica and they had Marley on all the freakin time. This song more than any other. Just such a beautiful song that I have attached to a beautiful memory. There is so much emotion wrapped up in this song, I get caught up in it everytime its on.

Ok, so nothing profound came from that post. So I'm gonna shuffle through my itunes for a bit and narrarate for you. I'm sure your thrilled.

Walk Like an Egyptian - The Puppinni Sisters

This is a new one, a remake of the old Bangles song done in a WWII USO trio style. Can't say much except that you need to check it out.

Taylor Bar, 4 a.m. / Ceol Na Mara - Lunasa

Thanks to Rie for turning me on to this great Celtic band. They are the soundtrack for my Irish days. I always feel transported to the Emerald Isle whenever they are on. I need a Guiness.

Fantine's Death / Confrontation - Les Miserables

The best song from the best musical. Plus, I can almost sing a few parts from it. I'm gonna pause for a minute and take in this one a couple of times.

Wonderall - Oasis

Otherwise known as The Todd Song. Doug you probably know why. Of course, I can't blame the hairy drummer for loving these guys. I can listen to their first two albums at any time. I have yet to get sick of any of the songs. There is something about rock made by band members that hate each other. Its even better when they are brothers.

OK, one more.

Boll Weevil - The Presidents of the United States of America.

Ah, music from the mid 90's. The best of the artsy, Seattle hippie scene. Gotta love the guitbass and the bassitar. (For those that don't know these guys played one guitar with 3 strings, one with 4, one strung with bass strings and heavily drop tuned). And they wrote songs about odd little insects, dune buggys, cats and crushing fruit between your fingers while stalking your ex girlfriend. Who could ask for more.

Well if you've made it through this far I commend you on your resilience. Alas, I have nothing worth saying to say.

Until next time.

Ike.

Video Games Saved My Marriage

2008-06-22T19:31:00.002-04:00

The above title is attributed to the amazing cook known as Suzanne Hoek. She requested the above title when we relayed the following information.

Jenny is addicted to a video game.

I downloaded a free demo of Guitar Hero III last week and she tried it out. She wound up staying up until 2:00 the next morning playing it. So, I went to the store and bought the real thing. Now we are both hooked.

I've said for years how lame I thought that game was. Well, I stand corrected. Well, actually it is pretty lame but it is fun as hell and after 11 years together we have finally found something we both LOVE to do together. (Well, two things but this s a family blog).

So I am here, in accordance with Show Code, to admit my shame. But thats ok, cause I'm at the point in my life where the only opinion I really care about is Jenny's, and in this house, I'm a freaking ROCK STAR!

Ugh, I hate myself.

Happiness Found in a Round of Golf

2008-06-08T13:03:00.003-04:00

But it usually results in a sore back the next day.

So The Todd and I played 18 at Wallinwood Springs yesterday. It was a nice round that contained more birdies and pars than expected. Unfortunately they were cancelled out by an equal number of unexpected triple and quadruple bogeys.

But, thanks to my new exercise routine my back is not nearly as sore as it has been in years past and I got the first bit of sun for the year on my pale Irish skin.

All in all it was a pretty damn good day.

Hint - Think Oscars

2008-05-30T22:35:00.002-04:00

5 points to whoever knows where my new title came from.

Plus you get to be my new best friend.

By the skin of my teeth

2008-05-27T22:00:00.005-04:00

So I picked up this idea from Jim.

I'm going to hit shuffle on my ipod and write about whatever comes up.

Here we go.

The last few weeks I have felt completely swamped.

Emergency room visit for stroke level blood pressure, finding out we were pregnant, finding out we lost the baby, getting bombed by claims at work, finding out jenny needed minor surgery, feeling utterly helpless while I watched my beautiful wife writhe in pain when her miscarriage contractions started.

It's been eventful, stressful and exhausting. Yet through it all I've never felt out of control, never felt like I couldn't handle it. I didn't notice it at first but a few nights ago it hit me what we've been through the last couple of months and I was floored by the strength He has given me without my even asking. I've been lax in my walk with Him but as usual He's been right behind me with his hand perched just inches from my back, prepared to steady me when my legs start to give out.

And now, on a night where I knew I wanted to write, but didn't know what, I come across an idea for a random post and come across this song that puts it all into a focus my eyes couldn't find on their own.

My hands are searching for you

My arms are outstretched towards you

I feel you on my fingertips

My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being

Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me

And you whisper you love me

And I begin to fade

Into our secret place

The music makes me sway

The angels singing say we are alone with you

I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me

Thickening the air I'm breathing

Holding on to what I'm feeling

Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry

The light is white

And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

(All Around Me - Flyleaf)

Jenny's Secret Identity Revealed

2008-05-14T20:40:00.004-04:00

This one made me laugh out loud today and if you know my wife you know why.

So I just want to apologize for the horrible lack of Dwight lately. We've had a busy las couple of weeks. Right after we got finished with the floors we left to house-sit for my inlaws for two weeks. Three days into that adventure we found out that we lost the baby. Needless to say, blogging was not foremost on my mind at the time. (Plus I used a newly purchased Xbox 360 to aid in my recovery so my time was pretty much spoken for).

But I am back now much to your delight I am sure. Unfortunately I don't have a whole lot to relay. Obviously most of you have heard the big, crappy baby news and we've moved on so I'm not going to dwell on it here.

Oh yeah, I did get to see Barack Obama's plane today. I drive home right past the back of the airport and saw his giant, campaign themed waste of donor's money sitting right there on the tarmac. I'm not much of a supporter but its always cool when important people come by.

I do have to say though that when I saw the plane sitting there all I could think of is how much money is thrown into these presidential races never to be seen again. I know that is the way it has to be done these days but the thought of people spending hundreds of millions of dollars or more to fly around the country for 2 years and garner votes kind of sickens me in a time when so many around the world cant even feed themselves. It really makes me long for a better way. I know its there, I know The Big Guy laid it out for us, but I get frustrated with the knowledge that we're too wrapped up in other things to really DO anything about God's issues. Not to mention the fact that our leaders really only pay lip service to Him these days anyway.

Well, I guess that's enough for today's rant. Here's to a good week for everyone. I promise I won't be like Chris or Jenny and start going weeks between posts anymore.

Ike

Weekend Project

2008-04-19T17:00:00.004-04:00

So we finally got the floors in the living room.

There is still a bit of trim work to be done and we have to finish the hallway as soon as I can get access to a table saw but our living room finally feels normal.

I'd type more but my arms have quit working.

I promise, once I've recovered from this ordeal I'll get some actual thoughts up here.

Art Can Be Fun

2008-04-06T11:20:00.004-04:00

So Jenny and I spent the morning at Fred Meijer Gardens. I got free tickets since we sponsor the butterfly exibit there. And I have to say, it was worth what we paid.

The butterflies were boring, but we also toured the sculpture garden. That would have been boring too if we weren't so freakin childish. It can be a lot of fun to walk around and make fun of pretentious "art". Of course some of the stuff was impressive, like Davinci's Horse. Unfortunately there were too many kids around for us to get a picture of Jenny pointing out the anatomical correctness of the horse's undercarriage.

The best part of bad art? The ridiculous names of course. Can you guess what this one was called? Why it's called "The Thunder" of course. Freakin hippies.

Again, the sheer amount of people and little ones kept us from taking the obvious inappropriate picture with this poor soul.

Believe it or not, this was was called "Emmet and Chris".
Did you know they are shooting "Donnie Darko Does Dallas" right here in Grand Rapids?

2008-04-04T18:57:00.004-04:00

I'm Gonna Be A Daddy

Inappropriate Question of the Day

2008-03-25T19:26:00.003-04:00

Why can't guys pee in a freaking urinal?

OK, I hope that got your attentions, but seriously, what excuse is there for a man to ever miss when he's going in the mens room. I mean they made a freaking toilet that hangs on the wall at the precise height for the transaction, and yet I still walk into the men's room at work at least once a week to find that somehow, someone has managed to leave some on the floor.

Sorry about that but I'm really starting to get mad about this. (and yes I almost said it was pissing me off but I thought better of it)

So anyway, I got to go to the ER last week. Fun times. I won't joke too much about this since my blood pressure was around 190/140. They got it down that day but I think the last little bit of my childhood died last Tuesday since I am now a proud daily pill taker. But I guess it's a small price to pay for my health.

But it was a pretty severe kick in the backside. Having a doctor tell you that at the current rate I wouldn't live to see my as yet unborn kids graduate high school will open your eyes pretty darn quick. I started weight watchers and have lost about 20 lbs so far this year but that was a real wakeup call for me. Hopefully this time I'll stay on board and get all this extra damn weight off.

OK, enough serious crap. I need something that will make me laugh.

And I'm thinking your reaction to this picture ought to do it.

My 4

2008-03-14T20:16:00.002-04:00

4 jobs I have had in my life:

1. Insurance Adjuster
2. Butcher
3. Line Cook
4. Pulling Cable for a high school computer network

Four movies I would watch over and over (or have watched over and over):

I would like to file a formal protest against whoever only let me pick 4!

1. Star Wars (That's not a moon, it's a space station!)
2. Top Gun (She's lost that lovin feeling....No she hasn't....yes, she's lost it.......I hate it when she does that)
3. The Jerk (Die Gas Pumper!)
4. The Godfather (Take the gun, leave the canoli)

Four places I have lived:

1. Columbia, SC (does it count if I was too young to remember?)
2. Grand Rapids, MI
3. Warner Robins, GA
4. Stone Mountain, GA

Four TV shows that I watch:

1. Lost
2. Criminal Minds
3. The Enhanced episode of Lost at 8:00 pm EST
4. The Office (I do NOT love Jim. He is the bane of our existence. He wouldn't know genuine sales talent if it sat right next to him......which it does)

Four places I have been:

1. Jamaica
2. Universal Studios
3. Todd's House
4. The Minneapolis airport!

Four people who email (or call) me regularly (in no particular order):

1. Jenny (she keeps me company at work)
2. Chris (he makes sure I don't miss any important articles, you know about sports or Star Trek or the Dark Knight)
3. AT&T (they keep asking for money)
4. Doug (if for no other reason than to discuss the latest PA strip)

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Roasted Chicken
2. Bonefish Grille's shrimp and sea scallops!
3. My secret recipe hamburgers
4. Heavily malted barley brewed to bring out a hint of chocolate and served with a quick shot of NO2 and allowed to settle gently in a pint glass.

Four places I would like to be right now:

1. Anywhere but Michigan
2. Not in Michigan
3. No longer in the Great Lakes state
4. Ireland

Four things I am looking forward to this year:

1. A sunny day
2. A warm day
3. Golf
4. Going to Florida for Christmas (where it is warm and it's not Michigan)

Four people who should post four things about them:

1. Paul
2. Doug
3. Jim
4. Jenny (she'll need something to post here in about 3 weeks)

A Recomendation

2008-03-08T09:32:00.004-05:00

So, my blogs are likely to be a bit sparse for a while. My laptop power cord is on the fritz and the $80 replacement cord is a few notches below #1 on my list of monetary priorities right now.

But I came across a freakin hilarious blog while hijacking Jenny's computer this morning. No explanation is needed as I give you an excerpt from Stuff White People Like:

#23 Microbreweries

White people don’t like stuff that’s easy to acquire. Beer is no exception.
They generally try to avoid beers like Budweiser, Labatt’s, Molson, Coors, and Heineken because if it’s mass produced it is bad. No exceptions.
So when they need a beer, they turn to microbrews who seem to be located almost exclusively in New England, Ontario, Quebec and Colorado. Being able to walk into a bar and order a beer that no one has heard of makes white people feel good about their alcohol drinking palate.
A friend of mine once met a white guy who brought a notebook with him to every bar. He would then keep a record of all the beers he drank and his experience with them. He called it his ‘beer journal.’
Also of note: most white people want to open a microbrewery at some point. One that uses organic hops.

#13 Tea

It is a known fact that white people consume, on average 25 different teas in a given year.
Back in the old days, white people would go all over the world to get teas from places like India and Sri Lanka. They were pretty into it and all of a sudden white people are into tea. But as we moved forward, white people were like “man, one kind of tea is not enough, we need more.”
And now people are into Green Tea, Chamomile, Chai, White Tea, Red Tea, Jasmine Tea, Oolong Tea, Black Tea, Orange Pekoe, and other specialty blends. They are even opening stores and websites devoted to sending white people all sorts of tea.
If you find yourself in a situation with a white person, acceptable things to say include “I’m really into tea right now,” or “my favorite thing is to get a nice cup of tea and curl up in a chair with a good book.” But do not remind them about the role of colonialism in tea, it will make them feel sad.

#4 Assists

When you say the word “assist,” first thing you think about is Steve Nash and Wayne Gretzky. White people love to pass, it’s no secret.
In basketball, it’s kind of a must so that white guys can carve out a niche and guarantee acceptance on a team. Trying to be a white guy who dunks and stuff is like trying to be a white rapper - yeah, there are a few, but you have to work twice as hard for half the results.
One explanation is that white people still feel guilty over slavery, colonialism, and the crusades so passing is a way to make up for it. But more importantly, it makes them feel good to help others.

They are up to 84 entries so far. Check it out, be offended by the truth!

Play Ball!

2008-02-29T21:23:00.025-05:00

So Dwight is sick of winter. Winter Sucks.

Have I mentioned yet that I'm about to punch winter in the throat?

So I decided it is time to concentrate on something more uplifting.

Its time for baseball baby!

Yes kids its almost time for opening day's opening pitch. This is always one of my favorite times of the year. The cold, dreariness of winter moves aside for crisp, cool days of spring. These days in turn usher in the rejuvenating smell of leather and glove conditioner along with the glee inducing crack of bat on ball. Dads across the country are spending quality time in the backyard having a catch with their sons And normally stoic men get teary eyed while watching Robert Redford round the bases.

Yet this year feels different. I've spent the last week or so trying to figure out why but it finally dawned on me:

No more Barry

No more Roger

It finally feels like we are putting the "Steroid Era" in our rear view mirror. Yes there will be the occasional story about Roger or Barry's legal wranglings; but for the most part these depressing steroid stories will focus on washed up ex players and they will eventually fade into the background.

Now we can concentrate on the important stories:

The Resurgence of the Tigers!

How will Joel Zumaya hurt himself this year?

Which crappy team will turn it around and energize a fanbase?

Personally I will be focusing on the transition from Smoltzie and Chipper to the Baby Braves in Atlanta. I'm actually kind of enjoying following a pretty good team with some serious holes. Yes 14 STRAIGHT division titles were wonderful but I feel more like a real fan when I have to suffer through the not-quite-so-good times.

So to celebrate the coming season I have decided to host a free Fantasy Baseball league on Yahoo. I'm formally inviting anyone who is interested in participating. If you read my blog you are welcome in my league. This will be strictly for bragging rights only and obsessive owners will be harshly ridiculed. I've done several of these over the years and I've found they are the most fun when contested among friends in a laid back setting.

So if you are interested, just head to Yahoo Sports. The league ID# is 151041 and the password is baseball.

Hope to see you there.

And remember. Catchers make better lovers!

I Don't Get It

2008-02-24T19:28:00.001-05:00

Jenny thinks if we have a girl she will wind up like this.

I have no idea what she is talking about.

A Post For Paul and Doug

2008-02-18T17:19:00.001-05:00

Because I don't think anyone else will understand.

The Best Part About Winter

2008-02-14T14:44:00.003-05:00

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT!!!

If there is a more beautiful grouping of four words, I am not yet aware.

Metal By Numbers. Cookie Cookie Cookie!

2008-02-10T17:45:00.001-05:00

OK, time for a video drop.

Today's title is brought to you by the amazing Brian Posehn who nails my feelings on today's "Metal" music.

Superbowl XLII - The Ads

2008-02-04T17:26:00.000-05:00

This Blog is brought to you in THX sound.

OK, so everyone is talking about the big upset today. I'm not gonna pile on too.

I will share my thoughts on the Superbowl Ads though. We have fallen a long way as a marketing driven society from the days of the Bud Light Frogs and Terry Tate Office Linebacker, but last night had some worthy additions.

My Top 5

#5 Jutin Timberlake Pepsi Ad

Decently funny with some just quirky enough cameos.

# 4 - Doritos Mousetrap

Unexpected ending. Hilariously low special effects/costume budget.

# 3 - Bridgestone Tires Screaming Animals

Funny enough at first, reaches a new level with the green bug (listen closely)

# 2 - Soundproof Corolla

Ill timed cell phone calls + ornery badgers = comedy goldmine

#1 - Coca Cola Parade

Chuck finally gets the win after all these years (yes i got a little misty eyed)

These rankings are, as always up for debate (except for #1, I will not argue this)

So, how about some awards for the also-rans.

The If Only It Really Was This Easy award goes to Coca Cola with The Carville and Frist Jinx

The Borderline Enjoyable Commercial Utterly Devastated by a Lame, 10 Year old SNL Reference goes to Pepsi with Baby Don't Hurt Me

The I Will Stab You If You Cause Me To Miss This Movie award goes to Wanted.

Seriously, if you don't know about this movie do a little research. This one is gonna do a little ass kicking I do believe.

And finally, The Can We Please Stop With The Talking Head Hyperbole and Unwarranted Hype and Let Them Play the Games award goes to - Plaxico Burress and the NY Giants.

OK so I piled on a little bit. I don't care.

Till next time!

God Punches Really Hard.

2008-02-01T23:13:00.000-05:00

I was watching 3:10 to Yuma tonight (great movie by the way, please watch it) and I caught something during one of the DVD extras.

Christian Bale was talking about the fascination we have in America, in the "first" world, with the western. We love to watch the movies because they remind us of a time when we were entirely self sufficient and had no one to rely one but ourselves.

This was the first time I'd ever heard anyone refer to the western world as "The First World".

I realized that Batman had once again taught me something about my life.

Everyone talks about the "Third World". But when have you ever heard anyone refer to our society as the "First World".

Yeah, exactly, we're "1st"! No I don't mean first as in best, I mean first as in the top of some superficial list about what is "best". Do we even have any idea how freakin easy we have it?

It's easy to feel pity for those who are "less fortunate" than us, but do we ever really consider how "fortunate" we are? I mean come on!!! I'm writing this in while sitting in a huge, comfortable chair that my in-laws gave me for free, watching a $24 DVD on a 27" TV while weighing about 150 lbs more than my "ideal" weight. At the same time there are people in my own town who sleep in rat infested homes and wish they had enough food to get them to their "ideal" weight.

I go to church in a mini-mall where the pastor used to sing in a pop-rock band and is free to preach whatever he is led to. At the same time there are countless other Christians in many other countries who can't even proclaim the name of their Savior without fear of retribution and death.

I am free to gorge myself on a bountiful harvest of M&M's and Kraft macaroni and cheese while millions of fathers, mothers and children hope and pray for the next installment of rice.

Yes it's easy to see how others have it rough. But how often do we also really see how freakin great we have it? Maybe we should take that into account when we evaluate the true status of our lives. Maybe we should spend less time dwelling on the acquisition and retention of today's "important" things (stuff, stuff and more stuff) and concentrate on the things that really matter to everyone:

God
Family
Friends

Sorry for the rant but thankfully God decided to punch me in the face at a really odd time.

Dynamite vs. the Whale

2008-01-31T20:06:00.000-05:00

So engineers came up with this idea?

Hey Doug, if you ever get to blow up a whale you'd better freakin' call me.

Beautiful!

2008-01-22T21:55:00.001-05:00

He has not idea that he's being completely ridiculed. Oh Maverick how your star has fallen.

Did You Know It's Cold in Michigan?

2008-01-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

So today we helped out the wonderful and talented Marie Dornan with her treasure hunt for the Dicocco Family before they leave for a mission to South Africa.

We were stationed at Calder Plaza where participants had to find us, have their picture taken and obtain a clue.

It was 10 degrees.

Now before we left I thought to myself....Self, no one in their right mind goes out in 10 degree weather so it should be easy to locate the treasure hunters as they arrived at the plaza.

I was wrong. There were 21 teams. 19 actually found us and there were at least as many if not more groups that were out and about in downtown G.R. just walking around.

Once we asked a couple of girls who strolled up to La Grande Vitesse if they were part of the treasure hunt. They looked at us like we may cut them up and cook them for dinner, then quickly exited the plaza.

Amazingly we stayed warm for the vast majority or our 3 hours outside. Plus I got this kick ass picture. Definitely a good day!

How've You Been

2008-01-16T20:18:00.000-05:00

So life is starting to resume a normal pace. The holidays have come and gone, the weather patterns have begun to ease the stress at work and I'm starting to feel like myself again. Thankfully I've had Jenny around to keep me (in)sane.

I figured it was time to actually do some writing here on the ole interwebnet but since I really don't have anything profound to say I'll just start typing and we can discuss whatever comes to mind.

- Saw Sweeney Todd last month. I have to say it may get added to the top of my musical list. Sondheim is a bit much to take in if you don't know what's going on ahead of time. Luckily I knew the story before we saw the movie but Jenny didn't know as much and had a harder time with it. We both agreed the music was wonderful though. Definitely one to see on stage at some point. I highly recommend it for any of you who like musicals, dark comedies and/or the Depp/Burton movie combination.

- Finished The Bourne Identity for about the 7th or 8th time. I've now read it twice since seeing the movie. When I saw the movie for the first time I thought it was pretty decent but each subsequent time I've read the novel I've realized more and more how they butchered the story. I'm to the point where I can barely watch the first movie, can't watch the second at all and still haven't seen the third. Jason Bourne (David Webb) is, as far as my opinion counts, one of the top two or three spy characters ever and I just can't bring myself to accept the film version any longer.

- Since we're talking about things I've experienced lately I'll mention some music. I just came across the new Dashboard Confessionals album "The Shade of Poison Trees". I'm still in the initial stages of a good listen but I'm quite pleased so far. I also came across an album by New Found Glory. They have a couple of albums "From The Screen to Your Stereo" Parts I and II that are covers of popular movie songs done in their style of what i guess I'll refer to as "New Punk". Its pretty decent but the kickers for me were the crappy punk versions of "The Never Ending Story", "The Glory of Love" (love song from Karate Kid II) and "The Goonies are Good Enough". (For those who don't know, The Goonies was a movie from the 80's that almost everyone between the ages of 25 and 35 has seen multiple times and can quote extensively, you know, just in case you got lost on that reference :)

- Speaking of The Karate Kid, my wonderful wife got me the original on special edition DVD for Christmas. You haven't lived until you've seen Zabka and Machio rehearsing the beach fight while shirtless and sweaty on the "Making Of" featurette.

So I guess that gets us up to date for now. Jenny and I are looking forward to a productive and exciting 2008. Hopefully everyone reading this will be a part of it. If we are lucky I'll have lots of blog fodder to relate as we stumble our way from one pratfall filled day to the next.

And since its been a while since I've done this:

How about some inappropriate Gladiator Beefcake in honor of Hulk Hogan's return to gainful employment.

Flight of the Concords = Awesome Nerd Humour

2008-01-12T00:04:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm sorry for all of the videos, I promise I'll actually write something soon, but I came across these tonight and just had to share them.

Apologies

2008-01-10T18:02:00.001-05:00

OK so apparently the evil NFL has pulled the video I posted earlier. I'm really sorry about that, it was an unbelievably cheesy early 80's hippy fest with a band called "Up With People". Sorry you missed it.

So to make amends here is a double video dose for you.

Jim Carrey as David Caruso - Priceless

And Normisms from the greatest sitcom ever (at least unti The Office gets a few more seasons under its belt, and if you mention Seinfeld I will gut you)

The Horror....The Horror

2008-01-09T20:00:00.000-05:00

You know there are a ton of things in today's world that make me long for better times.

But I never, ever, EVER!!!! want to live in a world where this is the Superbowl halftime show.

Meaningless Randomicity

2008-01-05T13:24:00.000-05:00

So I'm watching Two and a Half Men this morning and a thought crossed my mind: What is the deal with Charlie Sheen. Has he really milked an entire career off his dad? Cause he sure as heck can't act. I mean its painful to watch. But at least he gave us the Charlie Sheen Face, you know the one where he tries to look all serious, purses his lips and looks like he's about to pass a glass covered brick through his colon.

So in honor of Mr. Sheen here's some more random crap from the depths of my brain.

- I'm totally voting for Mike Huckabee based solely on his likely choice for Secretary of Defense.

- OK, why did Sato's crazy nephew get all dressed up to attack Daniel San during the village party at the end of Karate Kid II? I always pick out my Sunday best any time I set off to beat the crap out of annoying dorks in front of the rich uncle who just shunned me.

- I know it would have pretty much ended the movie a little early but do you really think the Star Destroyer would really have let the escape pod go just because there were no life signs? They were looking for secret plans! I mean no one would hide plans in a Droid and eject them in an escape pod, that would be crazy. I'm sure Grand Moff Tarkin was pleased that they saved the handful of credits it would have cost for one short little laser blast.

- I demand that you watch this clip. Just more proof that we really don't need bands like Kansas to actually tour anymore.

- I'm definitely excited about the new season of Lost, but isn't there some way that Kate can run Jack over with a car during one of their mainland "flash forwards" so I don't have to keep listening to him whine and bitch?

So I guess that's it from me for the day. Now that the holidays are over and life is starting to calm down again I will hopefully get back to some meaningful posts. Here's to a great week!

Slainte!

And Now, A Real Video

2007-12-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

The Mines with: "Valley"

Kung Fu Christmas 2007

2007-12-28T14:06:00.000-05:00

It was promised, now it has been delivered.

Merry Christmas, Shitter's Full!

2007-12-25T10:17:00.001-05:00

You know, when people ask me what I got for Christmas in 2007, I'll show them these pictures and tell them I got a great family. Oh, and a stick blender!

We here at the Wade household hope you are as blessed as we are with good friends and family. Regardless of what the commercials say, they are the most important thing about this holiday. Merry Christmas to everyone!

P.S. - Since I had a lot of free time today I put together what will likely be the first of several Holiday sideshows. Check back later for Kung Fu Christmas 2007 and possibly others.

I Heart Andy Samberg

2007-12-19T18:43:00.001-05:00

SNL - People Getting Punched Just Before Eating (Andy Samber

First Aired : Oct 13th 2007

OK, I know this is old but I still think its hilarious. Plus, Samberg reminds me of old school Newmyer

Why I Love College Sports

2007-12-10T21:48:00.000-05:00

I don't expect most of you that read this blog to sit through this entire 8 minute video. It's mostly there so my brother and I can easily access the video. But I came across this youtube video of the UGA v Auburn game, "The Blackout" and it reminded me of why college football is easily my favorite sport. It has even surpassed baseball. College sports are the highest level of major sports that are rely heavily on the emotion of the players and fans. Where else can you get such an emotional lift from something as simple as a black jersey. Yet this simple gesture by the coaches and the reciprocation by the majority of the fanbase at Sanford stadium helped propel the Dawgs to a complete destruction of a very good Auburn defense. I remember something very similar about the gold uniforms and black socks from the Fab Five at Michigan in the early 90's. There seems to be an attitude that is fun to watch associated with all the emotion. You don't get that emotion in the pros. Things don't mean quite as much when you are making $15 million a year.

Anyway, this video seemed to capture how I felt through the entire game vs Auburn. I was jacked up the minute I saw the black jerseys and the blacked out stadium and I stayed jacked up through the entire game. So, for most of you I'll see you at my next post. Paulie, I'll probably have this permanently embedded on my page before too long.

God Bless Stoned College Students

2007-12-03T23:09:00.001-05:00

BCS Hearburn

2007-12-02T00:11:00.000-05:00

So, it's just after midnight and I'm resigned to the fact that I won't be able to sleep until the final BCS rankings come out. This is absolutely the weirdest thing I've ever seen in sports, I never even began to hope that UGA would be in a position to make the title game because the scenario needed to get them there was too improbable. Now, every team in front of them has lost and the only thing between them and the title game is a bunch of sportswriters and coaches who now have a few short hours to sort out the mess that has developed from this crazy season. Can anyone say 8 team playoff?

So, now that I'm hyper stressed and popping Rolaids like candy I figured I'd go ahead and post some pics from todays trip to Frankenmuth.

It was the first time Jenny or I had ever been. Thanks again to Chris and Rie for hooking us up with an invite. Of course they had to pick a windy, 30 degree day but the cold did not dampen our good time.

It's kinda hard to see, but the key to this picture is the piece of plastic in the center labeled "Butts Only". I love 4th grade humor.

And the best part of the day; definitely the cigarette pooping Elephant! Just push his trunk and you get a special, cancerous treat. They taste like ass. Hee-hee. And yes, we bought one for Jenny.

OK, I'm off to try and get some sleep.

Will You Scratch My Nuts?

2007-11-16T17:22:00.001-05:00

Tuesday Badassitude

2007-11-13T22:19:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've all seen these but I found some new ones I would like to share. I never get tired of these damn things.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

* When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.

* If you rearrange the letters in Mr. T, he'll fucking break you.

* The only reason Mr. T is not Dr. T is because his thesis, entitled "Fools and Those Who Pity Them", only had a photo of Mr. T with his arms crossed. After the faculty questioned this, they were found dead with their testicles in their eye sockets, even the women. His thesis is still yet to be marked.

* Mr. T's edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words "Right Behind You" written on it.

* There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.

And still my all time favorite:

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Our Newest Edition

2007-11-10T16:26:00.000-05:00

This is Maynard. He came to live with us today.

So far, he doesn't seem to get along too well with our dogs.

However, he does seem to like to sleep on my shoulder.

This ought to be fun.

UPDATE!!!!

OK. so we decided our new edition did not really seem like one who would be called Maynard. As much as Jenny wanted an orange tiger kitten named Maynard the name did not seem right. So we decided to look up some Irish names and see what felt right. The choices came down to Neill and Emmett. Jenny liked Neill (an Irish name after her favorite hockey player Chris Neill), I preferred Emmet (after the Irish Poet Robert Emmet). We decided to let fate decide. We put each name on separate pieces of paper and I folded them up and shuffled them between each hand. Jenny blindly chose which hand to go with. And so without further ado, may I introduce Mr. Emmet N. Wade.
(Yes, his middle name is Neill, compromise is the secret to a good marriage).

Tag

2007-11-06T17:52:00.000-05:00

tag . . .

Here's how you play....once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with ten random facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose ten people to tag, listing their names and why you chose them; don't forget to leave a comment on their page letting them know "tag you're it". You cannot tag the original people/person back that tagged you first, but let them know when you have posted so they can read your blog.

1. I have a double headed toe on each foot. Only 10 toes all together but two on each foot share the same "trunk" for lack of a better word.

2. I once got a letter from Dr. Robert Ballard, the guy who found the Titanic. My mom has it somewhere in the pile of kids stuff.

3. I have never broken a bone (knock on wood)

4. I met the best man, maid of honor and pastor for the first time about 10 minutes before my wedding started.

5. I can't whistle.

6. My lifelong goal is to be able to play all the instruments of a three piece rock band by the time I retire.

7. I hate snow.

8. I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch.

9. I can barbecue the crap out of a pork shoulder.

10. I have an unhealthy view of how dead sexy I really am.

My tags

1. Jenny - cuz she's my wife and I like her boobs.

2. Chris - cuz he pretty much thinks like me

3. Rie - cuz she'll laugh when she reads my comment about Jenny's boobs.

4. Rachel - my sister

5. Paul - see # 4 except we're pretty sure he's a boy

6. Doug - because he typically has the most interesting random stuff about him

7. Angie - because she'll probably make fun of Jon somewhere in her post

8. Phil - because if he's still using the internet i'd like to hear from him and see whats up

9. Wayne - always has something insightful to say

10. Ezra - because he's the Beard.

Lots and Lots O' Music

2007-11-03T14:03:00.000-04:00

So Rie opened for The Mines last night. Great fun was had by all. Dwight stayed up way to late and woke up with a nice headache. Totally worth it.

She kept hiding behind her microphone so this is the best picture I could get.

I love the way this one turned out. Total accident. I turned the flash off by mistake and it defaults to night-time exposure. Turned out pretty sweet I think.

Basically everyone had a great time, not that you could tell from any of these pictures.

I highly suggest going to Rie's blog as well for more pictures and commentary on the evening. And just for fun, here's an extremely amateur video of The Mines produced by your's truly.

Robert Goulet 1933-2007

2007-10-30T22:12:00.001-04:00

The passing of a legend is always a sad occasion.

And now, a tribute:

Charles Schultz Got It

2007-10-29T21:46:00.000-04:00

I was watching PBS tonight and they had a special on the life of Charles Schultz. They showed a comic that really hit home for me. Unfortunately I couldn't find the strip but I did find the quote. If any one is able to find the actual strip please let me know.

Sometimes it is Charlie Brown who confides in Lucy. He approaches her in her counseling booth. The doctor is in.

Charlie Brown: I'm in sad shape.

Lucy: Good morning, Sir, sit right down.

Charlie Brown: Fine. . . I was afraid I might need an appointment. What can you do when you don't fit in? What can you do when life seems to be passing you by?

Lucy: Follow me, I want to show you something. See the horizon over there? See how big this world is? See how much room there is for everybody? Have you ever seen any other worlds?

Charlie Brown: No.

Lucy: As far as you know this is the only world there is. . . right?

Charlie Brown: Right.

Lucy: There are no other worlds for you to live in. . .right?

Charlie Brown: Right.

Lucy: WELL, LIVE IN IT, THEN! Five cents, please.

Redonkulous!

2007-10-28T14:51:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure if this is freakin cool or really sad. Either way its incredibly ugly. I wouldn't want to be at practice in a purple jersey on Monday.

Just Another Thursday Night in Grand Rapids

2007-10-25T23:45:00.000-04:00

Somebody mentioned it was a Halloween show, but I couldn't tell.
Apparently the guys were re-shooting The Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video after the show.

Greg spent most of the night trying to arrange a reunion tour for The Cure.

Unfortunately he was unsucsessful and spent the rest of the night complaining to the skeleton.

Best part of the night though? Definitely the opener, "No More Tears" by Ozzy. Un-Freakin-Believeable!

Cobra Commander Worked for Amway!

2007-10-22T22:35:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I got a little bored tonight and decided to do some light reading about GI Joe at GI Joe Character Guide. I have to say I was shocked when I came across the following information regarding the early days of Cobra Commander:

"Traveling the country, he lived in various towns, moving from one motel to another, finding people just like him who blamed their lives' failures on everyone but themselves. He got them involved in pyramid schemes, selling cleaning products and magazines."

Pyramid schemes? Cleaning products? Is there any question he was an Amway distributor? I think not.

"If you can ssssssign up sssssssix other interesssssted partiesssssss you can make thoussssssands of dollarssssssss a year. If you can get those ssssssssix to sign up sssssssix more you can retire long before ssssssssixty!"

Yeah, This Way is Much Better

2007-10-21T11:22:00.001-04:00

Words Do No Justice

2007-10-16T22:32:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Jenny for Finding This One

2007-10-15T21:12:00.000-04:00

And this one is from me.

Mathematics of a Muted Nature

2007-10-13T09:36:00.000-04:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again, GO SEE THESE GUYS PLAY! Mutemath puts on one of the best rock shows I have every seen.

He's not part of the show but he takes decent pictures.

Oh yeah, did I mention I won tickets from WGRD and got to meet the band. You're jealous. I know. You should be.

There are more pictures on my Flickr page should you wish to peruse them.

So It Goes

2007-10-09T19:38:00.000-04:00

So I just finished Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Wow! What a read! Short but powerful. For those who have not partaken it is the story of Billy Pilgrim, an unassuming everyman who becomes "unstuck" in time. Essentially he lives his life out of order, separated from the constraints of what we would call time. It is Vonnegut's attempt at an anti-war story. It definitely put forth some powerful antiwar imagery but I found, at least on my first read, that the real power was put behind some simple yet intense insights into our world.

One of my favorites:

"Trout, incidentally, had written a book about a money tree. It had twenty d0llar bills for leaves. Its flowers were government bonds. Its fruit was diamonds. It attracted human beings who killed each other around the roots and made very good fertilizer. So it goes."

Read that again. Maybe for a third time even. This book is filled with little snippets like this that just stopped me in my tracks. So many times I've been forced to read "literature" in class and made to dissect the imagery and meaningfulness of the prose. Yet Vonnegut continually packs all that needs to be said into just a few well chosen words.

So if you like science fiction, quirky stories, unconventional writing techniques or are just looking for something different, might I suggest a little Vonnegut for some weekend reading? YOu will not be disappointed.

No....No....No....No....F*&#K NO!!!!!

2007-10-08T17:52:00.000-04:00

I will not stand for this!

And to make matters even worse:

"Smith's son Jaden, 9, is attached to star in the remake." - IGN.com

So are they going to cast Clay Aiken as John Kreese?

I'm going to throw up.

Brandy Would Like To Say Hello

2007-10-07T16:29:00.000-04:00

OK, the weather is really starting to mess with me now. We had a beautiful autumn day today. It was something out of a good novel, the leaves were gorgeous and had littered the sidewalks, which led to a pleasant crunchy texture for our walk. The sun was shining, the sky a bright blue with nary a cloud in the sky. The only problem, the 85 degree heat with heavy humidity. I'm all for an Indian summer but number one, it needs to be cold for a while before we get it and two, I don't need it to get above the low 70's.

But that is as close to a complaint as I am going to go today. Alas, the cold and evil, fluffy white, devil precipitation is just around the corner. I will enjoy the warmth while it lasts.

So, despite the heat we got out and enjoyed the sunshine today. We had a nice little picnic at Collins Park in E. Grand Rapids and walked around Gaslight Village. It's always nice to walk around that area of town, where I can feel the disapproving glares that fall on my Walmart wardrobe from within the windows of passing Jaguars and Beamers. Plus, how often to you get to lunch next to the Yacht Club!?!

Yet the foray into "The Land of Houses I Will Never Afford" was well worth it for one reason, Jersey Junction.

We used to bike to Gaslight Village when I was a kid. I have many a fond memory of Hudsonville Ice Cream consumed on the Junction porch.

Of course, Jenny found something else besides ice cream:

I love that my wife still loves little kid's candy. She definitely keeps me feeling young.

Laughter is the Best Medecine

2007-10-02T20:52:00.000-04:00

6 Months Till St. Patricks Day!

2007-09-22T12:49:00.000-04:00

So the wife and I, along with the Dornans went to see Lunasa this week. Not only are they a phenomenal Irish band but we got to see them in a small little pub. It was much more of an intimate and personal show than what you get in an auditorium. If you are in to traditional Irish music I demand that you pick up at least one of their CD's. You will not be disappointed.

Here are a few pics from the night. Rie has more at her blog (it's the "Bantam Menace" link to the right).

Lunasa,remember it, write it down, buy the albums, dance a jig

This is Sean. He plays the fiddle. Jenny wants to take him home

You can't tell really well from the picture but this beer was pissed! It kept foaming and there were about 10 times as many bubbles as normal. I think they were mad that Jenny ordered a Miller Light at a pub.

Friends, Burgers and High Strung Canines

2007-09-16T15:40:00.001-04:00

I promised everyone some pictures of the new living room so here you go.

We still need to get the carpet down but that's a couple weeks out yet so we decided to move the furniture back into the room and just deal with exposed subfloor for a couple of weeks. The house is finally feeling like ours, not like an old lady's house that we are just living in.

So I'm 30 now. I don't see why everyone makes a big deal about it. Its just another year. But, to celebrate we held a little backyard shindig. I cooked up a bunch of burgers and hot dogs and made a couple gallons of sweet tea. It was a good time having everyone over and just hanging out.

Simon seemed to have the most fun of anyone. Oh to be young enough to be fascinated by the hose under the table.

We've also recently discovered that Daisy is deathly afraid of the creaky bedroom door. It doesn't latch well and the wind can blow it open when we have the windows open. Of course, once we figured this out we started leaving it unlatched when we watch tv in the bedroom so we can enjoy the hilarity that accompanies her terror.

I mean, how do you not laugh at this? Apparently she's decided the only safe place is inside mamma's shirt.

OY!

2007-09-02T18:24:00.000-04:00

Wow, painting sucks.

I just sent the last two days painting the living room and I can barely move. But it is totally worth it. The living room and hallway are no longer colored like a flesh colored band aid. We also no longer have gold paisley carpet on the floors, which also means the living room no longer smells like 40 years of cat pee. Well, actually still does a little. Apparently, if the previous owner of your house allows her cats to pee on the carpet for 40 years the pad under the carpet tends to fuse with the subfloor. So, I now have several large pieces of incredibly disgusting, 40 year old, urine soaked carpet pad that need to be scraped off the subfloor. Luckily Jenny to our only scraping capable tools with her to Ohio on a relief trip, so, hooray for that.

She also took the camera with her so I'll have to wait to post pictures of the new paint job.

Now, it is time to go wash away the stink of manual labor.

Hasta la vista.

Random Thoughts While Home Alone

2007-08-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

- Did Data and his family still move to Detroit after the Goonies found all the rich stuff?

- How would you build a snowman? Would you build him tall, or would you build him not so tall?

- Have you ever noticed how a lot of the George Lucas movies reuse the same sound effects. I noticed that Boba Fetts scream from RTJ is used in all 3 of the Indiana Jones movies.

- Why did they have to go change Bristol? Now it's just a short track version of all those boring California, Texas and Chicagoland races.

- Would you name him Bill, or would you name him Beouwulf?

- Why did they have to go change The Bourne stories so much for the movies. I mean, is there a more kick ass character than Jason Bourne? Why did they have to water him down for the movies and throw him into generic car chase scenes.

- Along the same lines, when is John Clarke getting his movie? I'm ready for Without Remorse. We need more Tom Clancy movies.

- I think Andi was a complete slut. I mean after school she was riding around in Troy's convertible, later that day she was jumping all over Brand's jock then that night she licked the chrome off Mikey's braces. Whore.

- The Mines and The Cinematics, September 11th at the Intersection. Please go, support two great bands.

- What's in the boooooooox?!? What's in the f***in boooooooooooooooooox?!?

- Slider or Iceman? Iceman was way cooler but Slider had a much better tan. Wait....what? ummmm.....next question

- If the X- wing is shaped like an X, the Y-wing was shaped like a Y, the A wing sort of looked like an A, then I have one question...........Why is the B-wing shaped like a T? Come on George, you can do better than that. Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking about.

- Spadoinkle

Um.........

2007-08-16T21:57:00.000-04:00

Now, I'm a Braves fan; Should I think this is kind of cool or should I be completely embarrassed. I mean the song is not that bad. And it's always fun to see the crazy things people do to support their sports teams.

Ah hell, Go Braves!!!

The Land Without Cable

2007-08-08T18:33:00.000-04:00

Jenny and I have been without cable for a week. We finally got sick of dealing with Comcast and decided to go through with the plans we had been talking about for a few months. Let me say, we waited way too long to get rid of the worthless time wasters that come with the cable box.

So we've gotten out a lot more, seen more of the town and actually went to a museum! Of course it was the Van Andel so we paid $8 each for something that took less than 2 hours to get through.

I've gotten some more reading done. I need to get some new material, I started several books the last few weeks but none of them have grabbed my attention. I've started put together a model car, so that's been kind of fun. I've had to relearn a nice little thing called patience, something I typically don't have a lot of. I'm also getting a lot more practice time in on my guitar. I really can't believe how much time we wasted in front of the boob tube.

So today we got to take the nephew to John Ball Zoo. For those that have been there before let me tell you they've added quite a few more exhibits. It's actually worth a visit. And it doesn't smell too much like monkey piss anymore!

Well that's what we've been up to. Now the real test is coming. Can I get through college football season without cable? Time will tell.

And Finally, here's some video that falls under Mr. Chris' "Things that Make Me Feel Silly When I Say 'I Can't Do It'". Thanks to Newmyer for the link

Don't Worry, I'm Not Dead

2007-07-30T19:40:00.001-04:00

Wow, I have been away for far too long. I'm sure I wasn't missed too much. Things have been pretty calm on the home-front. After the holiday things calmed down to a pretty slow pace; pretty boring actually. We've been exploring our fine city from our new dwelling, located conveniently close to downtown. I did however get to see The Mullet a week ago. Always good to run into old friends.

I've picked up the guitar again for the first time in 6 years. I want to kick myself for getting away from it for that long. It's like I parted ways with my best friend then crossed paths with them again years later. I didn't appreciate the experience at the time but now that I'm back on board I can't believe I let it get away in the first place. Unfortunately I now have to relearn about 3/4 of the stuff I learned back in the day. I've picked up a few good blues licks this week though and I'm torturing Jenny with a couple of lead licks that I've been practicing every day.

I almost hate to admit it but I finally got run over by the Harry Potter bus. I had conveniently avoided the books and movies all these years until I got sick a couple of weekends ago. TNT had the first 3 films running on a marathon and since there was nothing else on at the time I took a gander. Now I'm hooked. Perhaps I'll even get to see the new one at the theater. I doubt it though. And speaking of movies, DO NOT watch "The Number 23" with Jim Carrey. If you feel the urge to do so have a friend or family member lock you in a dark room full of spiders and shards of broken glass for two hours. It will enrich your life much more than said movie.

Well, I guess that's enough for my boring life update. Hope things are going well out there in the land in which my friends dwell.

Oh yeah, one more thing. We went to a Whitecaps game with the Dornans and my sister recently and you'll never guess what happened.

WE CAUGHT MARIE LAUGHING!

I know, it's rare but it happened. You can see for yourself:

I Just Watched The Original Star Wars Movies Again and Something Doesn't Make Sense

2007-07-10T18:56:00.000-04:00

Thunder in the Sky

2007-07-01T22:04:00.000-04:00

Hello.

So the beautiful wife and I spent Saturday at the Battle Creek Air Show. It's become something of an annual event for us. 5 hours of beautiful sun and the marvel of mechanized flight.

One thing I can't figure out though; every airshow I've ever been to has 4-5 of the aerobatic prop plane
demonstra-
tions, yet after seeing 1 or 2 you've seen everything they have to offer. Why do they need so many? Saturday was one of the worst. There were 5 different aerobatic acts, two of them flew twice and two of the invidual planes flew a second act together for a total of 8 aerobatic segments. I mean i can only see so many hammerhead turns and snap rolls before it all runs together.

Luckily the day culimated with the Blue Angels. I have now seen both of the U.S. precision jet teams, the Canadian team and the Italian team at various airshows and I have to say, the Angels are my favorite. Sorry Dougie, the AF Thunderbirds are phenomenal but there is just something a little extra about the Blue Angels show.

All in all it was a good day of airborne testosterone. Have I mentioned that I love summer? As usual, there are pics of the weekend at the Flickr banner to the right. As an added bonus, I will treat you to my first ever attempt at video documentation.

Let's Talk About Music

2007-06-20T18:12:00.000-04:00

Wow, I think I'm gonna remember this summer. I've been floored a couple of times lately with some of the new tunes out there. I feel like the world has suffered from a dearth of good old fashioned rock the last few years but that seems to have rectified itself this year somewhat. Let's just say that Ike is happy.

So, on to my recommendations.

#1 - The White Stripes: Icky Thump

These guys have slowly grown on me album by album. I've always enjoyed the idea behind their music (no fluff, no extras, just a dude, a chick everyone thinks is his sister {she's not, they're actually married, he took her last name} and some straight up rock). However, the first album didn't really hit home for me. The next couple started to inch their way into my playlist but now they have kicked down the door and announced their new gig as my house band.

I'm now on my third or fourth time through the album and I can't pick out a bad song. It's an incredibly eclectic grouping of songs and styles, even for a weird band like this. Everything from a celtic ditty, some country and good old rock. It makes my heart glad.

The title track is pretty durn good but check out "Prickly Thorn" and "Catch Hell Blues" too.

Also, I have to say, if I had to pick any rock star I would want to be I would have to say Meg White, just on the fact that I think it is somewhat attainable for someone with my talent. I mean, I could almost play the drum tracks to every song they have ever put out. Yet somehow the incredibly simple drums are extremely effective and she's married to one of the most talented musician in quite some time. I mean the dude produced an album for Loretta Lynn at her request. That's cred, I don't care who you are.

My second and final recommendation for the day is a single. And let me tell you I am giddy about this one. Ladies and gentlemen, at #2 I give you:

# 2 The Smashing Pumpkins: Tarantula (Zeitgeist)

Welcome back Billy!!!!! Oh how I have missed thee; and not just from the layoff between records, I've missed the Billy Corgan of Siamese Dream and and Gish. I may be overreacting to my joy at a great, straight forward, ass kicking offering from the guitar gods but this one may rank at the top of my Pumpkins play list. Great guitar licks, driving rythym and those creepy Billy Corgan eats small children vocals. Billy, after all these years you once again have my undivided attention. Please don't let me down again.

Well, that's it for now. Fell free to argue my points. That's the great thing about music. It can be so many different things to so many different people.

Oh yeah speaking of rock, for those of you that know The Todd, I found him on Wikipedia this week! He's listed as the drummer on the page for Big Fil. Yes, Big Fil has it's own Wikipedia page! It's one of the benefits of having the next Billy Graham as your lead singer.

Restless Musings

2007-06-16T21:05:00.000-04:00

I'm picking my way through Donald Miller's
"Through Painted Deserts" (Thank you Chris and Rie). It's really hitting home in a way I had not anticipated. I've really been struggling lately with a restlessness about life in general. Moving into this house has stirred something deep inside, something that has tired of the repetetive day to day grind of work, eat, sleep, repeat. There is something more out there for my beautiful wife and I. Something more than 20 minute commutes and reruns on the boob tube. Just the simple act of moving into a new home with the accompanying chores and responsibilities has brought this into sharp focus. We've been in a rut lately; no we've been in a rut our whole lives. How many of us just cruise through the week waiting for the weekend, only to waste it in front of an electronic box that provides meaningless, fleeting entertainment. How much more is out there?

I've lived my entire life between imaginary boarders, the Mississippi river to the west, the Carolinas to the east. Only twice in my entire life have I ventured outside the boarders (and actually, the trip to Jamaica fell inside them, just further south). I want to see more. I want to know more of God's creation. I want to meet new people, seek out new civilizations, boldly go where.............sorry, I got carried away, but I think you get my point.

So hopefully I'll have the nuts to act on these urges. The first step was getting into this house, experiencing the joy and responsibility that comes with the house, the yard etc (hooray for lawn mowers!). Next stop, who knows?!? It's kind of exciting, this venture towards the unknown. Maybe someday I'll get as far west as Iowa!!

(P.S. - Dougie, I'm going to climb a mountain with you buddy. If I have to inch my homebodied, midwestern ass to Colorado, I will climb a mountain with you. I swear this on the name of my father Domingo Montoya......er......Dennis Wade.)

All Moved In!

2007-06-09T18:25:00.000-04:00

Thanks again to all of you who helped us move in. Also, thanks to Chris for helping me change toilets.

Well, the last week has been eventful. We had no water all week. The water company came out Tuesday and switched out the cracked meter. Of course once we got the water turned on we found several leaks in the pipes. The plumber couldn't make it out until last night but we finally have running water. Huzzah! Of course, we also have a nice hole in the bedroom wall courtesy of the plumbers attempts to access the frozen pipes.

We spent the day in the yard with Jenny's parents. We are slowly getting all the weeds out of the flower beds and getting the grass under control. We're also starting to make the place feel like our own. Jenny has done a heck of a job getting everything unpacked and sorted out. She definitely has some interior designer in her blood. I would hate to see how the place would look if I were to decorate it.

So the plan for the summer is to get the upstairs painted, get some new window dressings and lay some new temporary carpet in the living room. If anyone wants to help just give me a call. I'm offering beer and burgers as incentive.

As usual, more pics can be found at the Flickr button to the right.